november

the house is quiet. my cup of tea is steaming, and i just devoured a slice of sourdough bread covered in ginger spiced sweet potato butter. i love thanksgiving break. i have found that my capacity to love has grown in the past few weeks. i have slowed down [to the best of my ability] and tried to enjoy the little things. i used to be much better at this, but i am guilty of letting life get me down and out and the beauty of life goes, sadly, unnoticed. perhaps it was my trip to the emergency room a few weeks ago that has been catalyst for this shift in perspective [i had a lovely trip to the emergency room due to an accelerated heart rate.... over 165 which they could not get down...followed with a full blown panic attack.] all is fine, praise the Lord, and as of today my cardiologist said my heart functions beautifully and looks structurally sound. the Lord protected me, my heart and my mind, and i am so thankful for that. since the incident, i do find myself lingering in hugs a little longer and enjoying the sound of giggles more than ever before. prayers of comfort and peace have been filling my prayer journal, both for myself as well as for many dear friends of mine who have said goodbye to precious parents over the past few weeks.

"May the Lord give strength to his people! May the Lord bless his people with peace!" Ps. 29:11

"In peace i will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." Ps. 4:8

"This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life." Ps. 119:50

"For the Lord comforts Zion; he comforts all her waste places and makes her wilderness like Eden, her desert like the garden of the Lord; joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the voice of song." Is. 51:3

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Matt. 5:4

i love you friends and am praying for such sweet peace and comfort to overwhelm you all. 

we celebrated Loudon's first Halloween a few weeks ago. although we did not go trick or treating, we did have Loudon dress up and help hand out candy [and by help I mean look cute]. 

happy bear

some pictures

picture time.

love this face.

playtime with daddy.

avocado!

all smiles.

love.

life this autumn

i feel as if I always begin each post with an apology; an apology for my lack of communication with you all via blog. i so desire to be a consistant blogger. but desire only gets me so far... apparently it gets me a blog with 0 posts for the mont of October. however, it is autumn, my favorite time of the year, and i am praying it motivates me, blogging speaking (well i am praying it motivates me in cleaning, dishes, crafts, quilting, reading, photography, etc...). so, here i sit, taking it one blogging day at a time and making an effort to share my thoughts on and adventures in life with you all at least once a week, hopefully more.

life has been really sweet lately. the last i posted, we were awaiting our appointment at Emory for Loudon's congenital ptosis. we headed up to Atlanta on that Tuesday night, checked into our hotel (which my in-laws graciously provided for us), and then headed out for dinner in midtown. being that we rarely get up to Atlanta for the night, we decided to celebrate our 4 year anniversary (it was two weeks later) with dinner at the Melting Pot. i am not sure if this was purposeful, but the hostess sat us in a section all to ourselves; therefore Loudon was able to be his usual talkative self without Kendall or i feeling anxious about disturbing others. the meal was delicious, of course, and then we headed back to the hotel for the evening. the following morning we packed up and left the hotel in plently of time to get to Emory, or so I thought. The gps said that we were a mere 6 miles from Emory. Well, a mere 6 miles in Columbus is vastly different than a mere 6 miles in Atlanta. our appointment was at 9:00am and we were supposed to arrive fifteen minutes early for paperwork. we left the hotel at 8:30. 6 miles to go. we would get there in plenty of time. well a mile down the road we spotted a dunkin donuts. i know everyone has an opinion about the best donunts, but lemme just tell me, kendall and i are obbessed with dd (dunkin). how obbessed? well we bought a house that just so happens to be a mile from one and when i was pregnant i would limit how many times a week i could run by on my way to work (maybe that is why i gained 39 pounds). ok sorry for the rabbit trail. anyways, we spotted a dd, figured we still had plenty of time, and i had already started salvating thinking about a pumpkin donut. needless to say, i figured wrong. apparently everyone in decauter was needing to go to the Emory as well. we finally pulled into Emory's campus at 8:59. have you ever been to Emory? thousands of people walking the streets, cars and shuttle buses everywhere, and nearly impossible to read signs among all the construction. after a few wrong turns, asking strangers for help, some yelling within our vehical, and parking at the very top of a very full parking garage, we walked up to the desk (frazzled) to sign in for our appointment. it was 9:15. fifteen minutes after our appointment time and 30 minutes after when we were supposed to arrive. i was worried they would cancel our appointment, being that we were so late, but thankfully they were wonderful and totally understanding. we met with our doctor, Dr. Wojno, and were extremely impressed. he was thorough with explainations and was just an amiable person. basically put, Loudon looks great as far as patients with congenital ptosis. he said that the composations Loudon is making to see, tilting his head back and lifting his eyebrows, is a great thing because Loudon is using both eyes to focus and see things with. their greatest concern is that he will stop trying to use his left eye to see out of, being that it is much droopier than his right, and then develop a lazy eye. in order to monitor this, we will have to meet with the doctors every three to four months. if everything progresses well (he does not develop a lazy eye) he will not have to have surgery until age 3-5. i asked the doctor if he has ever seen any neck or back developmental issues from the constant tilting back and he reassured me that in his 22 years, he has never seen any issues. i asked him how frequently he had seen this condition, he respondly promptly with "one to two cases a day". needless to say, he knows his stuff and that was extremely comforting. we left feeling encouraged and positive. we followed out our trip to Atlanta with lunch at Flip Burger with Kendall's sister. ah-ma-zing...for any of you who have never been. gourmet burgers and a krispy kreme doughnut milkshake, uh, yes please.


Loudon is now 6 and a half months old and is such an incredible little man. i never really imagined how much joy and warmth a child would bring to my heart. we have jumped in to the world of solid food and boy has it been an adventure. while we dabbled in rice cereal for a week, he was really not digging it. a week later we started avocados, and man oh man did he love them. bananas followed, along with apples, peas, carrots, and we are on day 2 of sweet potatoes. i had the best of intentions to make all of his food, then life happened, and by life i mean working 8 plus hours a day and less than 5 hours of sleep a night. while sleep has improved, he still gets a mix of food i mash and organic baby food. two days ago he started wanting the spoon more than the actual food and it has caused a bit of frustration for the both of us (kendall just gave up on it). a large quantity of the food ends up covering his face, his hands, his tray, his bib, his high chair, the spoon is covered, my hands are covered....everywhere. as i am going in with the spoon of food, as quickly as possible, his hands are quicker and intersect the spoon thus the food everything. he then grabs the spoon and puts it in his mouth in order to gnaw on it. when i try to take it from him....tears and screams. oh joy.

i mentioned that sleeping has improved. i am almost scared to type those words; fearing that i will in some way jinx us. oh well- damage done. this week has been wonderful. we have been putting him down between 8 and 8:45 and he has been sleeping until 6 or 6:30. i think i had forgotten what it felt like to sleep for 6 solid hours. i tried to remember the last time i got that many hours....i can't remember (being that i peed every three hours or so every night throughout my pregnancy). i know as soon as teething starts, this joyous time will be over, so i am taking it in and counting every night as a blessing....for they will soon be fading.

well, sorry for the novel. there is so much more. there have been tears shed, there has been lessons learned, there have been verses prayed, there have been dinners with close friends, there have been apples picked, and football games watched. i am blessed.

saturday

life for the past two weeks has been a whirlwind. work is going well. waking up at 5:15 am....well you tell me how you think that is going. the days fly by at work [which i am so thankful for]. Loudon seems to be doing wonderfully with his g-mommy during the days. he has recently fallen in love with his jumper, his walker, and trying to grab anything you are holding in your hand. this past week g-mommy has been at the beach, therefore his aunt KK watched him monday and tuesday. his grandma flew down from Virginia and has spent the remainder of the week with him. while i know she came down mostly to spend time with her grandson, it has been so wonderful having my mother here.

saturday was an interesting day. i am using interesting because i am still uncertain what word truly fits the information we were told. let me start from the beginning.

there is this picture in my mind of a just born baby laying on his mother's chest starting wide-eyes into her eyes. that never happened with Loudon. we would get little peeks every now and then, but he rarely opened his eyes the first few weeks of life. about three weeks old he began opening his eyes more consistently. however, he never seemed to fully open his eyes. we just figured he had little eyes, being that both his father and I have smaller eyes as well. his right eye seemed to open bigger than his left. it never bothered us....we felt it was an endearing physical characteristic. i would be lying if i said i never compared my friend's babies eyes to Loudon. I would think "I wonder when Loudon will really open his eyes wide?"

At his two month appointment our pediatrician took a look at his left eye. he did not seem too concerned, therefore just made a note to check it again at his four month appointment. At his four month appointment our pediatrician explained how he was concerned with Loudon being able to see how of that left eye, being that his eyelid was almost covering his pupil. he referred us to an eye doctor for a second opinion. saturday morning we went to our eye doctor appointment. Loudon was diagnosed with congenital ptosis in both eyes (his left eye is worse than in the right). having never heard of this before, we have spend the day researching [which i love to do...being the librarian that i am]. in a nutshell, congenital ptosis is when the eyelid muscles are not fully developed, thus not able to open without difficulty. we have noticed that Loudon tilts his head back to look at things, as well as raises his eyebrows frequently, both indicators of congenial ptosis. the only means of correction is through surgery. our doctor here has performed this surgery numerous times, but being that Loudon is so young, he has referred us to the Emory Eye Center of Emory Hospital. our doctor did say that the doctors at Emory could decide that Loudon's condition is not severe enough for surgery at this time. if that is the case, we would be able to wait a few years and have the surgery done here when Loudon is a few years older. the doctor did dilate Loudon's eyes to see if this condition has affect his eyesight. thankfully, it has not. we found out yesterday that our appointment with the doctor at Emory is September 14th at 9:00am. at this time, we just ask for your prayers. while surgery seems inevitable, and is the only means that the doctors treat congential ptosis, we know that our all powerful God is in the healing business. we will continue to keep yall updated on this entire journey!

tomorrow

tomorrow has been a day that has been pushed to the back of my mind for some time now. underneath diapers, pieces of fabrics, tears, giggles and burp cloths august 3, 2011 has been buried for the past four months. tomorrow is the day that i kiss my little man goodbye and watch as he begins spending his days without me.

tomorrow i am going back to work.

working in a school has its advantages, one being summer vacation. having a baby the last week in March also has its advantages [taking the rest of the school year off for maternity leave]. i am grateful that i was able to have four months with him. i have been able to hear him laugh for the first time, flip over from his stomach to his back, see him sit up on his own for about 5 seconds at a time, discover his hands, feet, mouth, colors, patterns, and his toys. i am so thankful for the care he will be receiving...one of his grandmothers will take care of him, which is a near perfect situation [the perfect situation being me staying at home with him]. i have been spending the last few days doing little else except be with him.... soaking him in. we read, we play, we laugh, we watch "chicka, chicka, boom boom" video about 20 times a day, we listen to the beatles, and we nap. i guess i have sorta gotten attached to him.

i decided last week i wanted to make him a quilt before i started back to work. i finished it in three days, and i have to say that i am so proud of it. it was my first attempt at machine quilting [i have only ever made tie quilts]. so, i guess you could say that it is technically my first quilt. i was not sure where i was going to go with the colors, but i found this awesome robot flannel print and i knew that this was going to be the foundation for the quilt. anyone who knows me at all knows that i am obsessed with earth tones [browns, greens, oranges]. however, i wanted to pick colors i knew Loudon would love. so far he has loved his quilt [and i measure his love for it by how much he stares at it and drools].

From August 2, 2011

[awesomeness]

From August 2, 2011

[quilt front]

From August 2, 2011

[quilt back]

sleep....or lack thereof...

it has been way to long. i feel as if i said that in my last post as well. i must get better about this. i let life slip away one day at a time and do not make time to share life on here. forgive me. bear with me. life has been tiresome for the past week and a half. i feel as if we have gone backwards and that we are redoing month one all over again. it is hard to find time to shower these days, much less create a blog update. while Loudon has yet to "sleep through the night" [whatever number that really is]... he was sleeping for about 6 hours followed by four more hours [basically waking up once around four am]. my body had adjusted and life was grand. i looked forward to my five or so hours of rest and never once minded getting woken up to that sweet cry. however, last thursday he started waking up every two hours. he never...ever did that...even as a one week old. it got better for a few days....waking up every three hours. however, last night we were up three times. it is tiring. nights have become long again, and therefore i try to grab a little nap here and there during the day [which is also difficult to do]. i am chalking it up to a growth spurt. i hope it's only a growth spurt. this all does have a silver lining. i am so thankful to the Lord that i am able to nurse him at each of these night feedings. for over two months i was giving him a bottle and pumping, however the Lord is so gracious and finally Loudon and i got on the same page with nursing. it has been such a blessing. when push comes to shove.... these few moments with my sweet boy in the darkness of the night.... these moments are so precious and i would not trade them for the world. each feeding is worth it and i am reminded of that everytime he wraps his little arm around my neck while he sucks his thumb.

kendall and i were recently blessed with a new computer from my wonderful parents [my mac was over five years old and the pinwheel of death was commonplace on the screen]. Loudon and i took some pictures on it. this was my favorite:

tomorrow is monday. i know most people experience dread when it comes to even thinking about monday. i am honestly excited. it is like a fresh new start. a chance to accomplish a new set of tasks. chores around the house, blogging, sewing.... these are things that i am looking forward to accomplishing this week. bring. it. on.

vacation

well we had our first vacation as a family of three. i was a bit apprehensive about the 12 hour drive to my parents in virginia with a three month old. we have worked hard to get Loudon on a schedule, and we have found that he thrives off of the consistency. whenever he misses his afternoon nap he sleeps worse that night....so, needless to say, i was scared what he would do being in the car for 12 hours. we decided to spilt up the time going there. we stopped for the night at kendall's uncle's place in Charlotte. although we did not get there till after midnight (combination of not leaving when we wanted and stopping twice for 30 mins each time to feed the baby), it was nice to visit with family for a bit. Loudon was so tired that the transition from car seat to pack-n-play was flawless. we finally got up to my parents house early the next evening. overall, i was impressed with the little guy. a 12 hour trip is not easy for anyone, much less a three month old. time with my family was wonderful. we spent a few days at the beach with some of my extended family. many of them i had not seen since our wedding almost four years ago, and many more of them i had not seen in 10 years. kendall and i were so looking forward to the time at the beach, and it did not disappoint. being that we usually spend time either at the gulf or hilton head, the ocean in maryland was quite a different experience (i grew up going to this beach but had not been there in years and years). the waves were huge and the water was a crisp 67 degrees. it was refreshing, as opposed to the water down here that actually makes you sweat while you are in the water. we were curious as to how Loudon would like the ocean, being that he hates baths and hated the one time he got in a pool. he did surprisingly well! although we only put his feet in, he never cried!

i had my birthday while on vacation. i celebrated by eating oysters on the half shell, buying a pair of earrings from target, and thoroughly enjoyed a dairy queen reeses peanut butter cups ice cream cake.

we decided to leave to come home at 2:30 in the morning. it was the best decision we could have made. Loudon eats about every three hours, so we tried to plan our stops for food, gas, bathroom's on this schedule. it worked out beautifully. we stopped three times to feed and would hit all three things each time. we got home at 2:37 pm....almost 12 hours on the dot. we were so proud of how well he did on his first road trip. while it was a great vacation, it is nice to be home. i love that i feel as if our house is home now. i love that i look forward to coming back here to rest, to relax, to settle, to love on my family, to swing on the front porch, to drink a cup of coffee.

we rounded out our vacation time by celebrating the forth. we swam, we ate good food, we watched fireworks. i was excited about seeing how Loudon would react to fireworks.... he slept. he slept through the booming fireworks. oh well...maybe next year he will enjoy them =).

after my birthday dinner

our little family [excuse the crazy hair]

Loudon's first time in the Atlantic

waiting for fireworks [right before he fell asleep]